Am I Strange

For being able to do so much more – not just in theory because the somuchmore has, in fact, already been meticulously thought out, despite myself, and I have the minute details down pat – but I hold back, for my own sake, really, far more than for the sake of the other person whom the wheels in my head automatically go a-wheeling?

A little bit sad, because I love the quirky little things I come up with and do. Because I like to think that these little things are not unappreciated. Because fate is such that all the planning in the world doesn’t always promise the plan will eventuate anyway. Because there is no guarantee of intended result from doing them. And because, in the end, I am setting myself up for major disappointment.

And yet, I slip time and again. And do these things, then pay the price.